hypatia challenge #1
To help express what I have deemed “hypatia challenge #1*” I would like to share a story that has stayed with me since I first read it in Leadership on the Line, by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky.
“Maggie Brooke grew up on a small Native American reservation in which nearly everyone older than twelve drank alcohol. After sobering up in her twenties, she now counsels a steady stream of visitors in her home throughout the day. Maggie attributes her sobriety success to a woman named Lois.
Twenty years ago Maggie used to baby-sit for Lois, who lived in a neighboring band within her tribe. Every Tuesday night Maggie would travel the few miles to Lois’ home to take care of her little ones. After two months, Maggie became curious as to what Lois could possibly be doing every Tuesday; it wasn’t like there was a lot going on in the villages. So one evening after Lois left, Maggie packed up the children and went over to the lodge to figure out what Lois was doing. Maggie looked through the window into the lodge and saw a big circle of empty chairs, all neatly in place, with Lois sitting in a chair all by herself.
When Lois returned home that evening, Maggie asked Lois about what she had seen. Lois explained that she was holding Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. When Maggie asked why she was alone. Lois got quiet and said she wasn’t alone, she was there with spirits and ancestors; and one day the people of the tribe will come.
Lois never gave up. Even after three years there were very few people present. But, ten years later, the room was filled with people. And eventually the community began turning around as its people rid themselves of alcohol.”
As Heifetz and Linsky note, leading the community required Lois to have a great amount of self-examination, perseverance, and courage. Lois was asking people to give up familiar and reliable ways without promise that things would get better. The hypatia challenge #1* is to be a Lois and our goal is to make our community a better place by supporting the women in it. Starting with yourself, do a little self-examination, become aware of how often you critique, gossip, and become jealous of other women. Remember, Lois had to admit she had a drinking problem and get sober before she could help others with their sobriety. The hope is once we become aware of our negativity, we will want to change and help others change as well – unless we enjoy being a member of the subordinate gender.
This is not going to be an easy challenge. There is something in us that enjoys the power we get from ultimately hurting other women. And as we embark on challenging other women to end the catty behavior, we will find resistance. For this behavior is familiar and has probably been a reliable trait in acquiring status in social networks and the workplace.
No matter what stage of this challenge we are in, we can gain confidence to prevail by sharing our experiences in the hypatia blog. Welcome all you Loises! I look forward to hearing from you.
*Note, just because I am putting this challenge out there, don’t assume that I am claiming perfection and/or mastery.
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